words & phrases
Here are some ideas for caring, inspirational, and funny phrases.
"People say nothing‘s impossible, but I do nothing every day."
"Why is the day that you do laundry, cook, clean, iron and so on, called a day off?"
"Doing things that you are not supposed to do at work makes your vision, hearing and alertness much better."
"Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else."
"Laziness is when a person doesn't fake that they're working."
"Education is what is left after we forget everything we were taught."
"There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on their food. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin."
"Of course I talk to myself! Sometimes I need expert advice"
"Sorry, I can't today. My sister's friend's mother's grandpa's brother's grandson's uncle's fish died. And yes, it was tragic."
"Let's eat grandpa. Let's eat, grandpa. Don't be a psycho, use correct punctuation."
"The speed of light is when you take a bottle of beer out of the fridge before the light comes on."
Movie & TV quotes
"Don't act like you're not impressed" (Anchorman)
"Ray, next time someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES!" (Ghostbusters)
"Excuse me stewardess, I speak jive." (Airplane)
"Shut the f**k up, Donny." (The Big Lebowski)
"They've done studies, you know. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time." (Anchorman)
"Not you, fat Jesus." (The Hangover)
"He died in a bizarre gardening accident" (This Is Spinal Tap)
"It seems to be powered by some sort of electricity!" (The Avengers)
"Surely you can't be serious? I am serious... and don't call me Shirley" (Airplane)
"If peeing your pants is cool consider me Miles Davis" (Billy Madison)
"The price is wrong bitch" (Happy Gilmore)
"I have nipples Greg, could you milk me?" (Meet The Parents)
"I see you're drinking 1%, is that cause you think you're fat?" (Napoleon Dynamite)
"Everybody knows you never go full retard" (Tropic Thunder)
"I can derelic my own balls thank you very much" (Zoolander)
"I'm not insane, my mother had me tested" (The Big Bang Theory)
"Kids, you tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is, never try." (The Simpsons)
Caring & inspirational
"Home sweet home"
"Love you Mum"
"Love you Dad"
"If you don't think everyday is a good day, just try missing one."
"Everything always ends well. If not – it’s probably not the end."
"It’s better to do and regret than regret not doing."
"Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet."
"Take risks. If you win you'll be happy, if you lose you'll be wise."
"The best things in life aren't things."
"An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind."
"To be free of suffering is to be free of thought."
"To accept life as it is, is to be at peace."
"If you are upset, accept. Before you react, accept. Before the think, accept."
"The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least."
"Work like you don’t need money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one’s watching"
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." (Dr. Seuss)
"Love is all you need" (The Beatles)
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." (Gandhi)
"Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." (Lao-Tze)
"What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do." (John Ruskin)
"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity." (Albert Einstein)
"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." (Walt Disney)
"A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination." (Nelson Mandela)
"Don't gain the world and lose your soul; wisdom is better than silver or gold." (Bob Marley)
"Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared." (Buddha)
"A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." (William Shakespeare)